To be or not to be...Strong.

I pride myself on living a life that is filled with optimism. I grow impatient with whining, as I believe in the strength in oneself. My father, taught me from a young age- right or wrong. He taught me that people don't want to hear your woes.

He once asked me how I slept. Since I didn't have a great night's sleep, I told him so and he responded, "I didn't really want to know, I was being polite, just answer me great and move on."  I have always remembered his words. It became a life lesson that I carried with me.

So I smile a lot, love to be happy and yet when something is really bothering me, only those closest to me know. I guess I feel it is my privacy, and I am one of the lucky ones, I see beauty and joy, almost every where I walk. Sadness does not have a strong hold on me, but I do feel for those it grips. Yet there are moments in my life that things really rattle me, but as I get older I am getting more comfortable letting down my defenses and saying, "no, I am not ok".  It happened this past week.

Spring break was fast approaching and it seemed as though my family was taking off in all different directions and I would be alone over the spring break. One boy back to college, one not in yet, one off to lacrosse camp and my husband decided to take off with another son to Vegas and Utah. ginnybakes is taking off in a million different directions and it just wasn't the time to let go of the reins. I was feeling scared and proud of the growth of my baby company, yet feeling so very overwhelmed.  I love making dreams happen. I have an ambitious, entrepreneurial side that has been hiding just underneath the surface all of these years and yet dealing with the paper work side of the business makes me feel like a three year old. I cannot seem to grasp or focus on it. I think it could actually give me hives! So I hinted to my husband I thought it might be better if he stayed in town. He didn't seem to hear me. Vegas and Utah skiing are his heaven. To get the man's attention especially during March Madness would require screaming. But I don't scream. It makes me cringe. Instead, I retreat and retreat.

I told him that if he left, I would not appease him with pleasant goodbyes and words of comfort but that he had to make his own decision. I have to tell you that there are moments in your life where you need your partner with you to just be there, hold your hand and offer perhaps nothing more than their presence.

He was due to leave at 6:30 am Tuesday morning. At 4:30 he got out of bed and told our son the trip was off. Do I own him as my male friends tease? No, does he own my heart strings? Yes. I needed him and he came through. Does the sun shine a little brighter this week, for me? Absolutely. Why did he stay home? Because I needed him, and though sometimes we need to listen, hear, and be strong- we also sometimes need to babied and looked after. And that's ok too, I am learning.

Thank you to the beautiful man that looked after me this week.  I owe you, and the payback will be such fun, I am sure.  xo ginny

What is Failure?

I met my husband when I was barely twenty-one.  And it was on our second date, that he told me his future wife would never work.

That she would be adored, loved, cared for but never work. I kind of felt at the time, that this future wife of his, the future Mrs S. would be incredibly loved, but with some terms! I wondered how in that time period could he be so chauvinistic? He was raised this way. But why did I so easily accept his way? I too was raised by a dad who wanted me to be loved, cherished and taken care of. In the back of my mind (or maybe in the front) I wanted the white picket fence, the kids- lots of them playing with a couple of dogs. It was a dream of mine.

I know I am so blessed by a husband who truly gets me, quirks and all. He just loves me from the bottom of his heart. He is equally loved, but twenty-four years later, I broke the terms he laid out on that second date- that has remained unspoken between us all these years. I was his wife and decided to build my dream of making this world just a little healthier by opening the door to my creative side.

Now the world of Mindful Organics is all unfolding happening and either I will fall flat on my face or I will show my sons, how their mom can go out and take risks. I so truly believe that failure comes from indecision. Failure is not when something doesn't go your way, it's when one does nothing at all.

I had two different conversations with my sons tonight, about their personal lives so I won't go to deeply into the issues, but they were similiar in different ways. One boy is having a girl issue. He wants to ask her out but is so worried she will turn him down. He is frozen. So not my way to be so tentative or hesitant- I feel like shaking the confidence into him...but I can't, so I keep teaching life lessons, building his confidence, and loving him so hard.

The other wants something in his sports world very badly, but is also afraid of rejection, though he claims otherwise.  He is thinking that he is content so I don't want to push. However with the wisdom of age does come the acknowledgment that regrets do come easily... But I do want him to live to the fullest, without showing too clearly, what I feel he should do. But I bite my tongue as I want him to come to make his own judgement call.

I just want to make sure that they don't become bystanders in life. I want them to live it with gusto. For to me, that is living!

As for myself I continue to do the best I can. I told them the story of a cafe in my neighborhood of sunny South Beach. I wanted so badly for ginnybakes to be sold there. I felt that my health-minded target market were there and that if ginnybakes were sold there it would be huge for my growth. So I worked really hard, worked with them, on their terms, and finally got their okay to put the product in there. I only had delivered for one week, then they decided we were "too small of a company" and didn't want to take a risk with me. I was a local. And great customer- so I was shocked, and hurt.  But you know what? I am glad it happened. It was the first example that I pointed to, and talked to my boys about tonight when I was talking about failure. Sure the rejection hurt- but only for a day or so. Then I got up, brushed off my knees and decided that obviously it wasn't the right place for ginnybakes. Their loss not mine.

I have always believed in the power of helping others- and that when some doors close, bigger ones open. Since that cafe closed their doors on us, Epicure Market- an infamous Miami Beach epicurean institution- has embraced us. Ha!

So if some doors haven't closed in your face, you have not lived. To live is to understand that failure is truly being too afraid to leap forward.  You will fail with inaction.

Let's all take a leap of faith and go for our dreams as life is so rich in possibility that way.  xo ginny